In order to demonstrate their newly discovered knowledge of marine species (the good, the bad, and the attractive…) Marine Ecology students have been creating original “Match.com” profiles for local marine life. Check out this hot profile from The Yellowline Arrow Crab who wants you to call him Daddy…”Daddy Long Legs of the Water” that is.
by Danny Goldman:
Well, hello there pretty lady! My name is Robert and I am of the finest species in the entire ocean: the Yellowline Arrow Crab (Stenorhynchus seticornus). I will let you drool over my gorgeous profile picture below while I talk about myself. To start, I am beautifully tan (golden-brown) and have a toned triangular body. My legs are long and thin, my claws have violet tips, and my shell makes me one of toughest animals in the water. Only the finest weather is suitable for me, so I reside in the lovely tropics of Florida, the Bahamas, and the Caribbean. Yes, I may only be 1.5-2.5 inches, but that makes me able to squeeze into tight crevices away from any possible predators (if they even dared). My favorite foods are fish feces and dead animals (yum!) specifically parrotfish poop and dead fish. If you desire, I’m even willing to share! I’m not afraid of anyone—not even divers. To add to that, my home is in the most majestic of places—in the heart the corkscrew anemone. I am very healthy; I make sure I get my daily dose of calcium since I need to reinforce my strong shell. I depend on the reefs for my calcium, so I do as much as I can to prevent excess CO2 (to be honest, I don’t much). The reefs I live in are 10-130 feet deep, so as you can tell I am pretty flexible with my habitat. Convinced yet? Check out my snout! I bet you haven’t seen any nose that long and delicate.
I’m quick and agile—just call me Daddy, because I’m the daddy long-legs of the water. I mean, just look at my phenomenal physique. I love using my long legs to crawl around—I am almost always occupied with my chores (mainly eating), so I hope you like a man who works hard for a living. I am looking for a girl who is drop-dead gorgeous, like myself. If you are interested, you can call my cell at (781) 145-5673 or stop by my house at 21 Patch Reef Anemone, Eleuthera, Bahamas. I’m sure I will see you there!